Madman at the wheel: An allegorical mini-play

She: I feel like I should say something.

He: Say what?

She: I think that was a wrong turn.

He: Which turn?

She: Back there at the T. We just went right.  We should have gone left.  The sign said, “Road closed ahead.”

He: He said he knows this area.

She: I’m not sure he should even be driving.

He: You keep saying that, but he seems fine.

She: I think he’s drunk.

He: Impossible.  He doesn’t drink.  I know that for a fact.

She: But there’s something not right about him. Have you looked into his eyes? He looks like a scared pig.

He: I think he’s fine.

She: How well do you know him?

He: Christine said she knows him.

She: Christine? Seriously?  You trusted Christine?

He: She’s been right about a lot of stuff.

She: She’s crazy. She doesn’t even believe in science.

He: But she’s made some good calls.

She: Like what?

He: She predicted that earthquake in California.

She: That’s bullshit. Everybody knows there’s gonna be earthquakes in California.  Christ, I can’t believe….

He: Don’t say “Christ” like that.  It’s disrespectful.

(Pause)

She: But honey, why are we even going to the Grand Canyon in the middle of the night? We won’t be able to see anything.

He: Relax and enjoy the ride.

She: He just flipped off that pickup truck.

He: So?

(Gunshot shatters a window behind the driver.)

She: Shit, now they’re shooting at us.

(The van’s driver shoots back. The pickup truck crashes and explodes in a fireball, lighting up the surrounding forest.  Strong winds cause a brilliant firestorm.)

He: See?  Now we can see just fine.

She: But we’re headed straight for that barricade.  The sign says “Road closed.”

He: He knows what he’s doing.

She: He should be slowing down, but he’s hitting the gas.

(Van crashes through barricade and flies airborne, plunging into the Grand Canyon. As they fly through the air, they are all weightless.)

He: See?  Now we’re flying.  I told you this would be great.

She: We’re all gonna die.

He: Yeah, but at least we had a hell of a ri….

(Van crashes into rocks next to the Colorado River and bursts into flames.)

 

 

 

 

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About John Mears

I teach English, take photographs, play guitar, write, do yoga, meditate, hike, play computer games, and love (and try to serve) humanity. If anything here touches you, let me know! Leave a comment! Subscribe! Enjoy! If you like the photos, you might like the greeting cards we will be selling soon!
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