Activists: It takes all kinds

Having been a proud activist for many years, I offer the following list of different types of activists I have encountered along the way.  (In all candor & humility, I must confess that I have — at one time or another — filled most of these shoes myself.)

 Activist:  One who works to achieve a social or political goal, usually as a volunteer, and usually at great cost to his or her income and personal life.

Proactivist:  One who works proactively to achieve a social or political goal by cultivating political relationships and organizing like-minded people into large blocks of voters who can exert effective political pressure, especially at critical times.

Slacktivist:  Does nothing until it’s too late.

Snacktivist:  Only comes to meetings if snacks are served.

Flaktivist:  Gives activist leaders flak about everything.

Quacktivist:  Shows up late, makes a lot of noise, splashes around, craps on everything, then waddles off to take care of their family or their pets.

Pterodactylvist:  An aging hippy who opposes all governments, organizations and organized activities except those promoting world peace, saving the environment, protecting the oppressed, and/or seeking to legalize marijuana.

Back-in-time-ivist:  Seek to take us back to the time before the hippies or pterodacylvists — a golden age when men were men, women were barefoot and pregnant, only white male landowners could vote, and slavery was legal.  (Also known as “Tea Party activist.”)

Black-list-ivist:  Spy for the powers that be; reports on progressive activists so that they can be black-listed, and summarily executed when the right wing takes over the government

Break-your-back-tivist:  Wears you out with a combination of great ideas that are humanly impossible to implement, and/or criticisms of your failures to meet their sky-high expectations.

Didactivist:  Lectures you on party doctrine, often quoting chapter and verse from whatever text supports their point of view, while completely ignoring whatever practical reality you face at the moment.

Diktat-tivist:  A hard-core activist leader who demands total loyalty and obedience from all members of the organization.

Built-like-Shaq-tivist:  A very tall, muscular activist, usually a man, who provides security at events where heckling or other provocations might get out of hand.

Smoking-crack-tivist:  Stands up at meetings and makes long speeches that make no sense whatsoever.

I’ll-get-back-to-you-on-that-tivist:  An activist leader who cannot answer any questions, but always promises to get back to you with an answer, and never does.


About John Mears

I teach English, take photographs, play guitar, write, do yoga, meditate, hike, play computer games, and love (and try to serve) humanity. If anything here touches you, let me know! Leave a comment! Subscribe! Enjoy! If you like the photos, you might like the greeting cards we will be selling soon!
This entry was posted in Humor, Political, Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s